Monday, September 1, 2008

The Hidden Truth

Thank your stars that you opened this blog! God alone knows what you would have done if you missed reading it!
All your life you’ve been misled and misguided into believing things that never were true!
You see, I am doing my Masters in Human Rights and thus felt it was my duty to issue these truths below in public interest!

1.Fried food is bad for health.
Food is fried these days in vegetable oil. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you? So you see, the more the fried the better.

2.You should lessen your intake of meat!
Seriously man, what an outright lie! What does lamb eat? Grass and corn, thus logically a kebab is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of ensuring that your body gets enough Greens! Need grain? Eat chicken!

3. Talking too much on the phone is bad for your Ear Drums.
I mean seriously, you say exercise is a must, and one must believe in overall maintenance. How on earth are you going to get your ears to lift those weights!

4.Doing homework on time is a good habit.
No its Not! The world is moving at a fast pace today, you can’t be laid back and take your own sweet time to do your homework at home, it spoils you. So, always remember to complete it in a hurry while your mom is buttoning your shirt, while eating breakfast simulataneously, learn the art of juggling your commitments, the big bad fast moving world is waiting for you!

5. Screaming and abusing are bad.
Ya right! It maintains your blood pressure, thus saving you from a future tendency of a heart attack while also ensuring that you follow Gandhiji’s ideals of saying nothing but the truth about the other person. What on earth have you been taught all this while? Sheeeesh.

6. Lying is a bad habit.
This is the limit! arrey?? See it this way. I lied and my lie saved you from getting mad at me, screaming at me, and a possible chance of an increased blood pressure, of a brain haemorrhage leading to a possible state of a partial coma or paralysis. And you still say it’s a bad thing.
Huh. So much for caring……sobs

7. If you don’t make it to IIM/IIT you are useless.
Obviously not! IIM/IIT people study a lot, get foreign internships, get a lot of money and settle abroad. Thank God that you do not suffer like them. You saved time, went for the Para football, did not become a spend thrift and listen to an Indian boss screaming his ass off at you! Asli Bhartiya!

Hope all of this proved to be an eye opener! Will be glad to incorporate more of these sacred truths in public interest from all of you! ;)

27 comments:

harmonic whisperer said...

kool gyan teacher....na...dnt thnk me 4 dropping by...dis'll save me from thanking u 4 dese lessons....;)

What's In A Name ? said...

A real eye-opener. My suggestion is make an e-mail out of it and send to many. If in right I will receive one too. :)

Whats in a name.......... said...

whisperer- pleasures all mine. could'nt help it, social service u see!;)

namesake-sure will!! any thing for the junta!!

comfortably numb said...

noble service u r giving:)
free gyaan nvr harmed anybody:D

comfortably numb said...

n if u do make an e-mail out of dis, plz fwd a copy to me:)

Psychedelic said...

Juggling committments sounds familiar eh?? not bad mariya.. ;)

n wats wit forign internships??? sounds so damnn lucrative *wink* *wink again* lolzz... dont kill me for this... :p

Whats in a name.......... said...

numb- glad!!! wats ur e mail id??

megha- u wait till you see me next time!! and all of them do get foreign internships ya!! i mean wats with the wink??

Psychedelic said...

oops.. am sorrie.. i meant foreign *typographical error*
lolzz....

Whats in a name.......... said...

megha....ooo megha.... stop tryin!!:P

comfortably numb said...

saimfriendship@gmail.com

Wizard OfCourse said...

i started reading it...burst out laughing...fell off my chair...got back on it...read the rest...laughed more and am quite out of breath. but Mariya...you shouldn't give out such priceless wisdom free of cost!
good work lady...

Royal Bengal Tigress said...

'learn the art of juggling your commitments'

By now, I can juggle knives and flaming bottles.

Amazing Greys said...

This is the most comforting thing i have read in years... Thank you. =D

Whats in a name.......... said...

wizard- my duty!!!cant help it!!lol

tigress- flaming bottles and knives!! i swear!!

amazing greys- u r most welcome!! alas!! truth prevailed!!:P

Wizard OfCourse said...

i know! and i must admit that you're fulfilling your duty really well. i am still in awe of such profound wisdom!! :D

behind brown eyes... said...

hmmm...i know whoz class you thought of all that girl...too much mental activity at the wrong time...not good...
but seriously...good stuff...shall keep it in mind!!!!

Whats in a name.......... said...

hehehe!! how can i think of such productive things in that class!! ze brain refuses to work then coz ze heart does all the thinking!!!lol
yuck! joking!lol

Johny-walker said...

Hmm.. I really learnt a lot. Your teachings should be published (except point no. 7).
Point no. 7 ka explanation needs little re-modification. Wat say mariya?

behind brown eyes... said...

hmmm...now i know what you are upto and why you never wanna miss college.... ;)

Whats in a name.......... said...

johny-NO.I CANNOT DO THIS!!this in in public interest and you want me to lie!! NO!
you tell me who in the world wud like to get into the hassle of handling a 7-8 digit salary, leave everything behind and go for holidays etc haaan???!:P

Johny-walker said...

Public Interest.. I know, public interest.. The grapes are sour, my friend; thats all that I have to say.

Whats in a name.......... said...

johny- chalo lets take a poll then!!! all those who have commented here believe they are absolutely saved from all the hassles of all that i mentioned!!
its not sour grapes my friend its just the truth!:P
p.s- dont argue wid me! i come up with the silliest of explanations which will make sure you loose all sanity!!

Whats in a name.......... said...

and i spelt 'lose' wrong!!!!!

M.D said...

Wish I had read this eye-opening gyaan much earlier. Though 6 negates 5 :P .

Whats in a name.......... said...

M.D- no no, u are allowed to lie and also encouraged to speak nothing but the truth!my gyaan is very situation and condition oriented!

M.D said...

One more lie in the name of Humanity
8. You should run after money: Friends etc all their change colors. Money is the only thing which doesn't change its color once printed- GREEN!!!. Hence money is good. :D

Whats in a name.......... said...

M.D- hehe :D