Thank your stars that you opened this blog! God alone knows what you would have done if you missed reading it!
All your life you’ve been misled and misguided into believing things that never were true!
You see, I am doing my Masters in Human Rights and thus felt it was my duty to issue these truths below in public interest!
1.Fried food is bad for health.
Food is fried these days in vegetable oil. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you? So you see, the more the fried the better.
2.You should lessen your intake of meat!
Seriously man, what an outright lie! What does lamb eat? Grass and corn, thus logically a kebab is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of ensuring that your body gets enough Greens! Need grain? Eat chicken!
3. Talking too much on the phone is bad for your Ear Drums.
I mean seriously, you say exercise is a must, and one must believe in overall maintenance. How on earth are you going to get your ears to lift those weights!
4.Doing homework on time is a good habit.
No its Not! The world is moving at a fast pace today, you can’t be laid back and take your own sweet time to do your homework at home, it spoils you. So, always remember to complete it in a hurry while your mom is buttoning your shirt, while eating breakfast simulataneously, learn the art of juggling your commitments, the big bad fast moving world is waiting for you!
5. Screaming and abusing are bad.
Ya right! It maintains your blood pressure, thus saving you from a future tendency of a heart attack while also ensuring that you follow Gandhiji’s ideals of saying nothing but the truth about the other person. What on earth have you been taught all this while? Sheeeesh.
6. Lying is a bad habit.
This is the limit! arrey?? See it this way. I lied and my lie saved you from getting mad at me, screaming at me, and a possible chance of an increased blood pressure, of a brain haemorrhage leading to a possible state of a partial coma or paralysis. And you still say it’s a bad thing.
Huh. So much for caring……sobs
7. If you don’t make it to IIM/IIT you are useless.
Obviously not! IIM/IIT people study a lot, get foreign internships, get a lot of money and settle abroad. Thank God that you do not suffer like them. You saved time, went for the Para football, did not become a spend thrift and listen to an Indian boss screaming his ass off at you! Asli Bhartiya!
Hope all of this proved to be an eye opener! Will be glad to incorporate more of these sacred truths in public interest from all of you! ;)